Think of your own partner. You are very well aware of the differences between you, but for the most part, the similarities remain unconscious.
It may be that at the conscious level you deny that you have features that belong to your partner both qualities and vices.
In a couple relationship, we often see our partner totally different from us.
Couples are always joking about these differences: “I let her take care of money.”
“Is irresponsible and impulsive, I do not have to get rid of it!”
Moreover , when things go wrong, the emphasis on these differences becomes even more pessimistic.
“This man is impossible”.
Yet the truth is that whoever resembles is gathering.
It’s hard for us to live with our partner because it’s hard for us to live with ourselves!
How can this be? In childhood, as we grow, much of the development of our personality does not happen, positively, in a positive sense.
When we are looking for the right partner, we are largely unconscious looking to balance ourselves, identifying someone still “active” in the areas where we were annihilated.
Think about the qualities that attract you most to a partner:
Is it open? Humor? Solid principles, emotional sincerity, physical health, energy, creativity, sensuality?
You will most likely admit that you are not too evolved to these chapters, and that is why you are attracting these things to the other person.
When we find the person of our dreams, we tell our friends: “It’s so full of life!”, “It’s so carefully, so organized, I feel safe next to it.”
It’s like our partner would give us what we lack.
When we are attracted to a certain quality in the person we love, we must understand that we can also activate that quality in ourselves.
When criticizing a partner’s mistake, we must realize that we are making the same mistake, perhaps expressed in other ways.